The Oscars; My Night On the 'Red Carpet'

I just got back from my first Oscar Party and I have to say I really was the feature of the whole extravaganza; I stole the show. And I didn't have to resort to over glamed outfits and poorly done makeup.  Natural pizzaz and my general disregard for societal norms pretty much did the trick.  The party was at Sierra's house and while the number of canine guests was low (Just me and Sierra), the human participation was quality.  Sierra's mom as usual provided a delightfully delicious array of food including homemade hummus and simply amazing chocolate tuxedo covered strawberries.

Chocolate Tuxedo Covered Strawberries.  Made by Chelsea Joy (see www.legallydelish.com for other amazing eats)
Mom ate like 5 of these, I've had to listen to her regrets ever since. 

I was fortunate enough to grab an entire wedge of brie cheese off of what apparently was the human food table.  My mom scolded me and said in a quiet, yet fierce, tone that she was humiliated by my behavior.  But whatever, if Sierra's mom hadn't wanted me to try to cheese she wouldn't have put the "human food" on a table that was so easily accessible.  The night briefly took a sour turn when  all the humans started watching an unbelievably and unfortunately long program - now initially, once the program started no one paid a lick of attention to me but that all changed once I methodically started stealing things off tables and out of peoples hands every 10 to 15 minutes.  To all you canine readers out there, strategic stealing is a very effective way to get attention.  Brace yourself for the inevitable tsk-tsking, it just comes with the territory.

I caught a few highlights from the program the humans were watching and may I just say that Anne Hathaway and James Franco were just miserable hosts - really, it was embarrassing to watch and quite frankly it made me uncomfortable. And my god, Annes second outfit change!  I really don't even know where to begin.  People may think that as a dog I don't know much about fashion but thats completely false. (For an example of my fashion expertise, see the previous post, Exhibit B for clothing and Exhibit C for accessories).  Since my mom doesn't bring me to school with her or to work or to a plethora of other places I'd love to go, I have to find ways to entertain myself while she's gone.  Typically I'll sleep or destroy a pillow but sometimes I like to pull out her Marie Claire and Vogue magazines and get up to speed.  So anyway that should set the foundation for me as a credible fashion critic and now to briefly summarize my thoughts on Anne's second outfit. Oh the dress, the hideous diamond dumpling necklace and the bad 1996 prom hair!  Anne, it really was a tragic disaster.  Unless the entire thing was an intentional spoof, in which case it was hilarious.