Three Hours I Can Never Get Back

This past Saturday marks one of the most undignified days I've experienced in a long, long, while.  I blame my mother. She asked if I wanted to go to brunch. Of course I want to go to brunch.  After all, brunch is civilized, is it not? Naturally I assumed we would be brunching at The Ritz Carlton, or Fiola Mare, or maybe even some new trendy restaurant (although I do prefer a more classic venue).   With that said, I agreed to join her and in doing so I lost three precious hours of my life that I can never regain. 

We hopped into the car and wove our way through the streets of Alexandria. Sidebar - I'm not sure I mentioned this, I probably didn't because I find it very embarrassing, but my mom and her special friend moved to an abysmally small condo in Old Town.  I offered them an $850,000 loan so they could get something mildly decent but they declined. They said my 28% APR was unmanageable. I said not employing good business practices was unmanageable, and well, we left it at that. Anyway, after a relatively short amount of time we pulled to a stop on a small side street full of dilapidated row homes. My mom looked over at me, "aren't these townhouses adorable, Diggy?"  Her statement was so ridiculously absurd that I could barely look at her.

We walked into the house and out into the backyard. I would have preferred the yard to be larger so I could put some distance between myself and the house occupants, but I was at a loss.  With nothing else to do I began to explore the grounds. I noted the absence of any discernible landscape architecture and the sub-par construction of the deck.  While the grounds were truly heinous, what was most troubling was the lack of stimulating conversation over the next three hours.  My mom, absolutely in her element, discussed mindless things such as weddings, television shows, and celebrity gossip.  No one discussed the stock market, no one discussed the effect the Ukraine-Russia conflict could have on oil prices, no one talked about anything.

I would have left, but I don't have my driver's license, I've never really seen the need for one.