My longest absence yet! Let me assure you I have been VERY busy being a really really poorly behaved dog. Over the last 8 weeks or so I have had several revelations and they are as follows: (1) I rule the house; (2) I can do whatever I want with no real consequences; (3) even if there are "consequences" my mom only stays mad for 5-10 seconds; (4) I am not a pet; and (5) I have a pet human. I won't go into detail, instead I shall focus on some of the highlights.
Actually, before going into the highlights I'd like to proffer a reason for my behavior. That reason is vengeance. As I mentioned in my last post I was under the misconception that my mom had abandoned me for good, however it turns out she hadn't. One day I was shoved into a crate, thrown into the hull of a jet and flown across the country - AGAIN. She's done this to me several times now and quite frankly I've had enough of it therefore, I sought revenge. Now onto the highlights, which will be organized by location:
1. Home
- consumption of 5 socks
- knocked over the kitchen trash can
- emptied the bathroom trash can (7-10 times)
- emptied my pet human's purse (5-7 times)
- stole paper towels; destroyed paper towels
- absolutely demolished a large couch pillow (see Facebook for photographic evidence)
- whined CONSTANTLY
- brought several dead, dried worms into the apartment
- put a hole in my pet human's new blanket
- chewed a highlighter on the new carpet
- chewed a highlighter on my pet human's new comforter
- chewed up a magazine
- chewed up dryer sheets
- knocked an entire bowl of chili in someone's lap
2. Sierra's Home
- stole garlic bread out of Nedda's hand
- chewed up an accessory to someone's occupy themed halloween costume
- tried (unsuccessfully) to eat off of several plates
- ate Sierra's irreplaceable puppy collar
- chewed up Sierra's bed (Sierra's mom had to laboriously hand sew it back together)
- stole and consumed napkins
- went into the dirty laundry
3. The Haunted House
- rummaged through all 4 bedrooms
- stole many many pairs of socks
- went into the garbage (kitchen and bathroom)
- tried to eat halloween candy
- jumped on both coffee tables
- stuck my face in a bowl of chips
- licked dishes
- stole a rib out of someone's hand
- collected papers, napkins, dirty tissues
- stole water bottles
- created a hoard in the backyard of all my best finds which I furiously defended.
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| so close - then my pet human unceremoniously shoved me off. |
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| My contribution to the occupy movement. |
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| Its my world. |
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