Life of The Famous and Fabulous (Me)

Not many of us have the opportunity to be famous and truthfully, I didn't even realize I was famous until just this past monday. I'm sure you're thinking to yourself, "was he recognized on the street?" "Did someone ask for his paw print?" Or perhaps a photo with him? Did someone name their first born child after him? The answers to all of these queries is no and the reality of what occurred is far more fabulous. I have a stalker. Her name is Lizzy and shes moonlighting as my moms friend, clearly as a means to get closer to me. Let me be more specific. The other night my mom went out to dinner with two friends from her college days. She met them at the Cheesecake Factory (side note: there's no menu that stresses my mom out more than the Cheesecake Factory. She'd like to point out that there is no congruence or obvious theme in the menu, instead of specializing they choose to make everything under the sun and refer to them all as 'Specialties.' She finds that frustrating.) Anyhow, mom went to dinner and hours later returned with Lizzy. Lizzy walked in and immediately gushed about how thrilled she was to meet me and how she was surprised - she partially expected to find me hard at work at my desk, with my reading glasses slipping down my nose and my face buried in my work. A very likely possibility, however she would have had to come earlier in the day to find me engaged in such activity. She walked in during my leisure time. So after gushing over how fabulous I am she sat with my mom and they chatted. I read right through it though, she had her eyes on me the whole time so naturally I played the part. I chewed aggressively on my bone and threw my own toys and subsequently retrieved them. The saddest part of it all? My mom actually thought Lizzy was there to see her! I just can't get over it, that poor woman.

My fabulous life.

Now I know what you're thinking, be careful Diggy! Women like Lizzy can lose it and go over the edge. Before you know it she'll be stealing pieces of your fur and making a tiny tiny pair of mittens out of it. And I say to that, I accept what consequences come my way - its part of fame.