My mom and dad are dirty, hippie, liberals - it's so embarrassing. My grandma Jan and I regularly correspond about the fact that my dad, in particular, is practically a socialist. "What will we do with him?" We often lament to one another. I tell my parents nearly every day - Taxes are terrible, people need to just go out and get jobs (just like I did, how do you think I became a billionaire?), interest rates for banks should be as low as possible, its not Walls Streets fault, and for gods sake start throwing people in jail for defaulting on student loans - they're the real scumbags. But they just don't listen.
Anyway, I was musing things over this weekend and I was in a particularly good mood (I had just played a fantastic prank on Putin), when I came up with a plan to combat my parents communist ways and all of their counterparts out there bleeding this country dry. So without much further ado, I'd like to make the following announcement.....
I HEREBY NOMINATE MYSELF TO BE CANDIDATE DONALD TRUMP'S RUNNING MATE!**
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| Riding to victory |
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| Thinking about victory |
** Photographic credit to my Campaign Director, Graphic Designer, and PR Guru, Greg Williams
