Hello readers, as usual you're probably all wondering where I've been - I can imagine you've been checking my blog daily, pining for, dreaming of your next dose of diggy. Which is exactly why I've been silent. See I've come to realize that the best way to garner fans is to keep them wanting more, you can't give it all away at the drop of a hat. One must be mysterious and not too forthcoming about ones own private life. So this is precisely what I've done over the last year or so and the results here are consistent with countless empirical studies that I've poured over at the office. People are obsessed with me. I don't have the time to record the hundreds of examples that led to this conclusion but true to form I will touch upon a few.
In the beginning of December my mother dearest began to inquire as to who would be "willing" to "watch" me over break. (I've used quotations for obvious reasons, namely its an honor to be around me and no one
watches me.) Anyhow, people were practically knocking down her door with requests to "watch" me. I mean literally she was fielding inquiries from all ends. "What days do you need?" "I'd love to have him the 10th through the 20th!" Then, because the competition was so fierce, some individuals even began to proffer the activities we would engage in when I stayed with them. Essentially, it became a bidding war. The lucky winner was ultimately my Aunt Heather and she will be the first to tell you I was just an absolutely delightful house guest. My wit and humor had them doubled over as they let out great hearty guffaws of laughter.
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| My Uncle Marty |
Once my mother returned we reassumed our regular day-to-day lives. Then one day my mother received a text from an individual we'll refer to as Uncle Marty. Uncle Marty absolutely
adores me and I'll be frank - I love him too, mostly because he buries old chili in the backyard for me but also because whenever I see him we engage in lively games and intellectually stimulating conversation - oh, and he also calls me Sir. Anyway, my mother receives a text from Uncle Marty inquiring the following: "When does Sir Diggy have visiting hours?" My mom read it to me and I sighed, reached for my blackberry and showed her that I was free later that evening for just an hour or so. Uncle Marty was thrilled when he saw me, in fact the entire house was. I was fawned over for hours, I was asked countless questions about my break and how I had been. Finally, as I departed they all wished me a great last semester at school and a fine day at work.*
So it was a joyful heart that I thank my fans for a wonderful 2011. I think we can all agree that my rising to stardom was the highlight of the year.
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| My Number 1 Fan |
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Comforting a sick fan
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| The highlight of her year. |
*The authors mother would like to reiterate that the author's tales are always fundamentally rooted in truth.
